Ruminating - an extension
Have yet to give a response and I know know know that I must.
It's sort of like if I don't respond to this person then my dead uncle's ex-wife will then accost me at the next family function and say, "D'ja set a date with my nephew yet?" while scooping more barbecue onto her Thanksgiving dinner plate. What will I do? What will I say? Will I just have to buck it up and tell her that he was too much of a loser? No...
I'll be forced to cringe and say in a very high-pitch squirm, "Nooo- not yet." Then she'll call him and say, "Oh honey, you really must be persistent with her; you don't want to lose her attention."
Oh but I do. I really want him to forget me. Completely and whole-heartedly. And this whole family set-up is such an awful pitch. It's so blue-blood brit trying to keep a grip on the family name. I really want him to forget me.
Just thinking about his blind hope and desperation makes me want to sink in embarassment for him - kind of like when you see someone completely humiliate themselves on television. It's the exact same thing.
And so I've stayed very, very busy. Avoiding calls or questions from my family. Unless they have to do with a job or an apartment. It's completely one-sided and completely wrong. But in the meantime, I've learned the ropes of this bustling city without much confusion. I've gone out and stayed in; completely worn down two perfectly good pairs of shoes and almost have worn in the third. I've met up with friends who I haven't seen in ages. People whose names and faces have sort of fallen into that strange melting pot of people I once knew and never thought I'd see again. I've driven a horse buggy through Times Square - for two whole blocks. While considerably drunk and dazzled by the blinding lights of 2:45 a.m. I've danced and nearly run into celebrities on the street. There was Luke Wilson - that was an embarrassing experience. Plodding along the sidewalk and nearly walking straight into him. So glad that I was wearing too-small of shorts and a wife beater. Nice. And then some gorgeous super model who I saw yesterday. I suddenly felt very, very short. And girthy. But everyone else here is very normal. It's like a small town with really tall buildings. And the boys are way cuter.
obviously on 10.22.05 @ 07:11 PM CST [link] [No Comments]